Just Quickly

Hi! I've been missing for ages, haven't I? My schedule is so whack-a-doodle these days, it's sometimes hard for me to keep up with the posts... although these lovely ladies have been keeping me company (anna and the ring, snippet and ink, the broke-ass-bride, $2000 wedding, a practical bride, and a surprise wedding to name but a few - how could I get by without them????). But I feel slightly guilty for reading them so voraciously, and yet being so lax in my own posting.

So here we go - just a quick one this morning, and then more to follow this afternoon or evening. I apologize in advance, as this one is not pretty (no visuals) and not light and fluffy and yummy. This is about something that's crunchy and sticks in my throat. And yes, I'm being figurative here. Basically, it's one of those really freaking annoying things that seem to pop up when one is planning a wedding. Now I am CERTAINLY not a stickler for etiquette. At least not "traditional" wedding etiquette (which is kind of a misnomer, as I'm discovering everybody has their own ideas about what "traditional" wedding etiquette means, and expects that everyone else to share their holy code. In fact, it varies a great deal from person to person, resulting in a shitstorm of conflict). In my view, as long as everyone is respectful, and adheres to normal, everyday etiquette, all is sunny. BUT. Get this. And tell me if I'm being crazy.

A friend of Matt's had RSVP'd for the reception. But NOT for the ceremony. I assumed this was an oversight on his part, and put him and his wife down as a yes for both. Then Matt made a comment about Alan (not his real name) saying to him that he wasn't coming to the ceremony because he didn't feel comfortable in a church. WHAT??? So I emailed Alan, to say, in a non-aggressive way, whats up? We just noticed you didn't RSVP for the ceremony - that was just an oversight, right? And he emails back something to the effect of "I haven't been to a wedding or to church in ages, what's the protocol" (okay, it was actually pretty much those exact words). Seriously?? What's the protocol?? Um, someone invites you to their WEDDING, so that you can see them get MARRIED. If you're uncomfortable with the venue, you either don't go at all (what is this "we're not coming to the ceremony but we'll eat your food and drink your booze afterwards" bullshit????) or you SUCK IT UP because they're your friends and you love them and want to share the moment with them! I was kind of at a loss for what to say in response, so I wrote something like "well, we're NOT having it in a church (it's insulting that I even have to say that - first because he knows us and knows we're not religious, and second because it shouldn't matter, and at this point I feel like I'm begging him to come, which I REALLY shouldn't have to do), and it's going to be really relaxed and low key. We don't want you to do anything you're uncomfortable with, but it would definitely be our preference to have you at the ceremony." Then he writes back one line "I'll talk to Elaine (also not her real name)."

What? WHAT?? Seriously, at this point I just want to tell him not to bother. Please tell me if I'm blowing this out of proportion. Although I have to say you'll have a reeeally hard time convincing me not to be deeply insulted and pissed off. Who DOES that??

ALSO, please please please, what do I say to him if he says he's not coming to the ceremony? He is a good friend of Matt's and they often work together, so we really can't do anything that would burn bridges. But I don't know that I can let it go....

I suppose that really wasn't so short. OR quick :) Thanks for listening...

laid off

I'm feeling pretty low today. I was laid off from my office job on Tuesday. It was completely unexpected, and they handled the whole thing pretty badly - I was given less than a weeks notice and a pretty shoddy explanation. They are fairly full of shit, and I am pretty sure there is some shadiness going on, but what can I, a lowly part-time receptionist, really do about it? I think it's best to wash my hands of them and move forward. They will be left with their bad karma and their mean little lives. I don't need that kind of nastiness in my life.

I wasn't really sure how to write about this turn of events. There is so much going through my head. I'm hurt and shocked and feeling more than a little put-upon - there is definitely this, "damn it, universe, what did I ever do to you?" feeling. I mean, I was, for the first time in my life, actually enjoying work. Both of my part time gigs, and my freelance work, were all pretty satisfying. I was LOVING the fact that I didn't get filled with dread every Sunday evening, as had been the case for pretty much my entire working life. And then the rug just got pulled out from under me. So there's anger. And then fear. A lot of fear. Like how am I going to pay my bills? I'm losing 60% of my income! And I was just making it before. So this means it's back to monthly panic attacks while I try to figure out where the money for my school loans is coming from. Where rent money is coming from. How I'm going to pay for food. And on and on. This means I have to lean way too heavily on Matt for financial support - and frankly, things aren't so good for him either, so I'm afraid he won't be able to stretch his money far enough to cover us both. So I'm terrified. Not to mention the job market is looking pretty bleak these days, so it's difficult to even pep myself up with talk about how I'll find some great job any day now. And on top of that, I'm fairly humiliated. I couldn't hold on to a receptionist job. Not to knock the job - receptionists and admins are the unsung heroes of the business world. Fatcat execs have hardly an inkling of what these people do for them every day. Without them entire industries would come crashing to the ground. BUT. I have two college degrees. I'm smart! And talented! And my reception job, in particular, was a total breeze. And I was going above and beyond what I had been trained to do. So it feels pretty shitty that with all my innate intelligence, all my fancy education, and all my effort to make a niche for myself, I was deemed not enough. Anyway, there's the self pity.

Okay, I honestly didn't know this was going to turn into such a diatribe. I'll get to the point now.

So I'm having to reassess things. Figure out my next step. And I'm thinking I need to re-focus on the illustration and design career that had always been my goal, but had kind of receded into the background a bit. And this is what I'm thinking: wedding invitations. I've played around with this idea before, but now that I've done my own, I feel like I have new insight. I have a clear idea about what it takes to put them together, and based on some freelance work I've done in that vein, I have a better idea of how to best run such a business.

So this is just to tell everyone - I'm going to be putting together a line of wedding suites in the next few weeks, and selling them on etsy. I'll be opening a new etsy shop, dedicated to this endeavor. So spread the word, and keep your eye out for the shop opening!

And here, to end, is a picture my father sent me the other day - some of my early work. Circa 1983.

randomly

i have to say that i hate engagement pictures. i think they're stupid as all get-out. i just don't get the whole concept. what is the point? other than to spend more money? what could be a better example of a silly convention created by the wic, designed to do nothing but add to your budget?? maybe i'm just a freak, maybe it's because the whole idea seems over-the-top sugary sweet to me. and maybe i'm missing some vital piece of important information. i'm certainly not maligning those who have chosen (or will choose) to have engagment photos taken - to each his own and all that good stuff. i simply felt the need to express my deeply felt WTF moment. REALLY!!!!! i feel like a crazy person here!! ick. engagement pictures. blargh. barf.