The Ceremony

Okay, no preamble here, I'm just gonna jump into it.



So we had this amazing procession. Matt and I, our parents, and our bridal parties, led by our wonderful minister, started it up. Matt's brother - on guitar - and cousin - on euphonium - walked behind us playing "All You Need Is Love." EVERYONE fell in behind us, and we had the biggest, most love-filled procession EVER. Ah-mazing.



We were both so floored by the power of this walk. We kept looking at each other and saying "this is insane!!"

We arrived in the garden. We had about 45 chairs set up, and about 140 guests. The ceremony was short, so we figured some people wouldn't mind standing. We wanted people to be close to us, and be part of the action, so we encouraged them to stand behind us, next to us, in front - whatever they wanted. I was a little nervous about this, but it worked out super well. ALSO, the weather cooperated! That morning, it was dark and stormy, and I was a little anxious, but I made a decision not to worry, and it turned out to be a perfect October afternoon. The sun came out, and the cold snap hadn't started, so it was crisp but not too cold. Someone told me later that the sun broke through just as we said our vows :)



My uncle kicked things off with a heartbreakingly beautiful speech. I wish I had the text so that I could quote it. I'll try and get my hands on it so that I can share. Lets just say for now that I had several people - NOT sentimental types - come up to me later and tell me that his talk was the best part of the whole day. Yay uncle P!



Listening to Uncle Peter work his magic...

Our officiant, Carmela, was the mother of a dear friend of ours, and she did an incredible job. She has such a warm, loving spirit, and she was SUCH a great support and help during the planning process. She gave us exactly the ceremony we wanted, and I don't think I'm being too biased when I say it's the best ceremony I've ever been to :) This picture is jumping ahead a bit - I just love Carmela's expression here - it captures the joy and love and enthusiasm she brought to the ceremony perfectly.



My mother and Matt's father each chose readings. We let them pick whatever they wanted, as long as it wasn't the same thing! My mom read the classic biblical verse about love ("love is patient, love is kind.."). It's a classic for a reason people! it was part of my parent's ceremony, my sister's, and my brother's, so I was so glad she chose it. My father-in-law read something totally non-secular and just as moving. But I'm a terrible daughter-in-law and I don't even remember the AUTHOR, never mind the text. I'll have to get that up later as well...



I cried. A LOT. I knew I would - I'm a big crier - but I had no idea how ridiculously copious my tears would be! It was just hard to talk, and I felt like Carmela just kept asking me me to say more and more and more :) Matt was SO sweet. he kept brushing my tears away. It was weird, but I have never felt so unselfconscious in my life as I did that day. So the crying didn't bother me until later, when I started looking at everyone's pictures, and I'm like "dude! can we find one where I'm NOT making an ugly cry face???"



Aren't my bridesmaids lovely?!!? They each chose their own yellow dress, and then some of them wore blue shoes and some of them wore pink. I bought them each a wrap to match their shoes. They looked gorgeous and bright and sunny!!



Really, all I could think about after we exchanged rings was kissing my husband. Carmela said some BEAUTIFUL words (which, luckily, I had read beforehand, so that I was able to fully absorb them and also so that the crying was kept to a minimum), and my sister and Matt's brother (the moh and best man, respectively) read the benediction:

Now you will feel no rain,
for each of you will be a shelter to the other.
Now you will feel no cold,
for each of you will be warmth to the other.
Now you will feel no loneliness,
for each of you will be a friend to the other.
Now you are two people,
but there is one life before you.
Go now to your dwelling place
and enter into your togetherness.
And may your days be good and long upon the Earth.

Then, we smooched. It was the best kiss ever.

tune in tokyo

Or Mexico, which is where I've been for the last week :)

Ack! I have been away for so long! Every time I sit down to write, I'm completely overwhelmed and end up bailing. Where to start? And even more than that, the idea of GOING BACK - to the stress, the uncertainty - is kind of exhausting. Of course, the days and weeks leading up to "the big day" (a term I happen to loathe) were not ALL stress and uncertainty. There was a whole whopping load of excitement, love, and giddiness. But all that is somewhat inextricably linked to the nervousness.

But. I suppose the best thing to do is start at the beginning. The beginning being where I left you last.

Leading up to the final week, there were some minor break-downs, some drama, and lots of introspection. I suffered from occasional bouts of cold feet - not, you understand, because I doubted the rightness of the decision, but the sheer SIZE of the decision sometimes gave me cold sweats. And on top of that, I had this enormous party to worry about. Would our plain-jane reception hall be made pretty enough with the decorations I and my cousin had slaved over? Would the vendors all have their shit together? Would everyone show up, be healthy, and have a good time? Would the food stink? WOULD EVERYTHING GET DONE IN TIME??? I hardly need to list the reasons I was stressed - anyone who has or is planning a wedding knows them all too well. Suffice to say, I was a ball of nerves.

At the one week mark, however, I finally had my real and complete moment of letting go. Worrying about whether all my bridesmaids would get along? Pssh. Not my problem. All the little things, just clearly revealed themselves for what they were: completely unimportant. I really, really, REALLY just wanted to be present for all the festivities, and I really, really, REALLY didn't want to be so freaked about the party going smoothly that I was a bitchy irritable witch to my husband the week of our wedding. So my mantra became "it's none of my business what other people think of me" - thanks apw :) And it worked. I let go. And guess what? As I had read time and time again on the blogs of my like-minded brides, IT WAS EXACTLY RIGHT.

I had underestimated the power of that day - and specifically, of the ceremony. I had thought of it as a formality we were going through. Granted, a super romantic formality, but I was completely unprepared for the power of the ritual. It was huge and overwhelming and uplifting. Everything fell away, and all that mattered was my husband and this promise we were making to each other, and all the love we felt from our families and friends felt like it was carrying us along. I felt buoyant and utterly peaceful. I can't overstate how incredible it felt.

So tomorrow, if I can continue on this streak (I've been so good this week! I re-organized my file cabinets, shredded all my old paperwork, caught up on bill, made calls I've been dreading! It's like I'm spring-cleaning my life!), I will start with more of a blow-by-blow account of the day.

But here's a bit of a teaser: for our procession, since we got married outside, we had everyone line the path from the church to the garden, and then Matt and I walked, together, past everyone. As we passed people, the fell in behind us, so that all the people we love were in the procession with us. It was my mother's idea, and I have to say, it's by far one of the best things we did. Walking down that pathway to the sound of Matt's brother and cousin playing "All You Need Is Love," seeing all those smiling faces, many of them singing along? A totally indescribable feeling.

Some shots of the procession:







That last one shows everyone going into the garden - and you can see my beautiful bridesmaids in their yellow and blue! And the yellow and blue balloons my AMAZING impromptu day-of coordinators bought and set up that morning. More on them later!!

And so I bid you adieu for now - back for more tomorrow!

Rings!!

Two weeks from today will be my wedding day!!

We bought our rings, custom made, on etsy (yay etsy!). We got them in the mail yesterday, and they're perfect!! Simple, pretty, and they fit! I highly recommend Laurie Sarah Designs - they were great to work with, super accommodating, and I am so psyched about the results!

I don't know why, but nothing has made this wedding feel more real, or made me more excited, than trying on our rings. Seriously, seeing Matt wearing a wedding ring just made me so giddy! I was caught off guard by how happy and giggly I got - and have been ever since :) It suddenly brought it all into focus for me - the heaps of unnecessary stress, worrying over details like labels and signs, all so insignificant in the face of what we're going to be doing in two weeks. It made me, for the first time, really and truly NOT CARE about the food, the booze, or the decorations. If it rains and no one shows up, if the pom-poms and garlands don't get finished, if there's no ice at the bar, I know I will not give a single crap. Because I'm going to be married to my best friend and that's enough, on it's own, to make me happy for a long long time - no perfect wedding required.

Happy weekend!

Forty-Five!!

Meg over at A Practical wedding wrote a wonderful post today, and it's just pumped a little more excitement and happiness into me :) Go read it. It's a little wedding graduate wisdom, delivered in an elegant and completely gut-hitting way. Seriously, read it.



So we had a flood in our basement two nights ago. Matt was washing dishes and I was drying them and putting them away. Matt turned off the water, and weirdly, I kept hearing it. We realized it was coming from the basement, and ran down... my poor Matt has his office down there, and there was a small pond under his desk, soaking the bottom of his computer tower, his battery back-up, and a bunch of his papers he had piled on the floor, in true Matt-fashion. He also had his amp down there, and it was actually filled with water. He was not a happy camper. So we were up until almost 2am cleaning up the mess and calling/texting the landlords. Finally crashed. Matt's new blackberry slept next to us, and woke us up every half hour with new emails. Then the alarm went off at 5:30 so that Matt could make it to his shoot in time. At that point I had had such a restless night of sleep, I couldn't stand being in bed anymore, so I got up as well. Then it was a day of dealing with landlords, sewer guys, maintenance people, and my fellow tenants (I had to beg them not to flush their toilets or use any water, cause every time they did, nasty sewage filled my basement and I had to take it outside, one bucket at a time). Super fun!! But by 5:00 it was all fixed, all handled, and I seriously felt awesome. Sometimes it takes a huge pain in the ass situation like that one to make you appreciate the so-called "little" things. Like having clean, indoor, running water. Like having toilets that flush. Definitely a mood booster :)

And now it's almost noon, and I've only been awake for two and a half hours, and I haven't gotten anything done, other than catching up on my blog reading, researching little coastal towns in Oregon (just because there is a part of me that fantasizes about escaping the dirt and noise and millions of people per square mile that is New York). But that's okay. I'm giving myself a pass for this morning. I'm just feeling good and lucky and blessed. And I also know that everything will be well. So I'm going to enjoy myself!

Speaking of which, the wedding is 45 days away!! Zoinks!! This week, I've found that all the bazillions of decor ideas that have been simmering for months, but still hadn't formed a cohesive plan, have suddenly started to fall into place. In my head at least, hah! But yeah, I'm not really sweating it... we'll be getting our marriage license in the next few weeks, and the rings, and after that, everything else is just icing, so to speak. And decorations or no, we have the most amazing family and friends in the world, and we'll have a beautiful location, good food, good music, good booze, and it will be fantastic. And you know what? Even if all that somehow fell through, it will still be fantastic, because WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!!



And sunflowers will be in season. Single bloom per maid?? I think so!!

Gemma and Tim, 1978, Continued

Okay, as promised, some more pics of my parents on their wedding day....



I'm not sure if this is before or after the ceremony, but somehow it has a distinct "waiting" kind of vibe, so I'm guessing it's pre-nuptuals. Thats my Dad on the left, sporting the sweet Jimminey Cricket tails, and my Uncle Barnabas on the right, sporting the beard to end all beards. Would you believe he's now rocking a completely shaved head and face?



Tim and Gemma were married on July 15, 1978, in Toronto. My Uncle Peter was the Best Man, and my Mom's friend Debbie was her MOH. In the front row, to the right of the priest, you can see my two Grannies!



Another angle on the ceremony. See the dress Debbie's wearing? My Mom told me the coolest story about that. The year my parents were married, Debbie was also married. So Mom and Debbie bought this dress together, and then they each wore it to the others wedding. How awesome is that??



The newlyweds, leaving the church... by the way, my Mom was wearing giant heels here - she's 5'4" to his 6'3" :)



And doing the meet-and-greet, post ceremony (their friend Mike rocking a sweet blue suit!).



Cutting the cake!

My Mom got her dress off the rack for like $30. She bought a whole whack of wine and cheese and a cake. Friends of their parents lent them their home and yard for the party. Simple simple simple!!
And now 31 years later, they're still together and happy - they're my marriage role models, to be sure.

Gemma and Tim, 1978

A few weeks back, I was visiting my parents, and found myself looking through their wedding album. Probably because I'm planning my own wedding, I felt freshly fascinated by the story of their wedding day. I had never really been that interested in the logistics of the day; who was in their bridal party, what they wore, what was the ceremony like, where they had the reception (did they HAVE a reception??), what kind of flowers my mother had, who helped put it all together, etc. etc. And so I picked their brains a little, and got to hear (for the first time) about how they and their friends and family gathered at the house of a family friend with a giant backyard, and had wine and cheese and cake, and how spontaneous dancing broke out when someone brought a radio (record player? I can't remember... this was 1978 after all.... did they even have electricity??) outside. I should probably get my pops to write about it, but for now, I just wanted to put up a little teaser, as I'm not feeling especially eloquent right now, and want to make sure I do this very important wedding justice in the re-telling :)

So here they are, my favorite married couple, on their wedding day: July 17, 1978 (there is a chance, being the degenerate daughter I am, that I'm wrong about the exact date.... but I'm pretty sure.... definitely '78 though!!)



I sure do love them :)

Stay tuned for more!!

lovely lovely love

Photography by Tec Petaja

These are from forever ago - they're from a wedding featured on Once Wed, and they just capture, for me, the essence of things. The way they're leaning their heads together as he reads - it's such a real and loving gesture... it makes me feel all warm and mushy! It cuts through all the hooplah and bullshit, you know? These people are getting married because they love each other enough to want to formally commit to spending the rest of their lives together. That's it, end of story. Yes!! It really is a beautiful wedding - go check it out, if you haven't already!

Now that we're 99% moved into the new place, and what with tomorrow being my first day off and at home since we moved (can you hear the angels sing? hahhh-leluja!!!) I'm finding my brain turning back to all things wedding. Specifically all things OUR wedding. Specifically, I am at the point now, with less than three months to go, where all those things, all those thoughts and maybes and possibilities that have been floating around in my head, need to actually be sorted out, cut down, and put into action. It's time to organize, edit and act! And yes, I just said the same thing in two different ways. AND, in one hour and twenty minutes, I'll be on quasi-vacation for three whole weeks!! What that means, if you're wondering, is I am holiday from one of my two jobs - as a result I'll only be working two days a week. And that sounds pretty much like heaven. So I plan to sleep in, FINALLY get a chance to enjoy our garden in the mornings, catch up on projects, play around with some art, draw a lot, and hop to the wedding planning!

And hopefully, have more time and energy to pour into my neglected little blog :)

Have a WONDERFUL weekend!

it must be tuesday

because i am writing a million posts.

i can't believe i've never seen this before, but holy-moley-freaking-what-the-dang-sweet-baby-jesus, this is easily one of the best things ever. top five. not to be superlative, but i am awed by the technical prowess it displays, and the sheer prettiness of it, and the quote! the perfect wonderful quote! just went right into my heart :)



run, don't walk, over to MadeByJulene to see more...... i am just floored by julene's work!

case in point:



REALLY??????? unbelievable.

i found these via the wonderful nest. now go look.

why i'm marrying him

via adventures in daily living.... i'll have to take my own picture tonight!!

he came home yesterday with a big bunch of pink peonies.... for no reason in particular :)

also..... please don't get complacent about this....

apparently today is a blogging day for me.... a completely unoriginal day, one where all i'm really doing is re-posting other people's wonderfulness, but still. blogging nonetheless :)

i just wanted to share this amazingly heartfelt post from meg over at a practical wedding.

it breaks my heart that there are so many people in this country who are not afforded the right to legally marry. it makes me feel guilty for being able to marry whenever i want, wherever i want (although not WHOever i want... and thats the crux of it, for me. how can the government tell me who i can and cannot marry?). when matt and i get married, it will be with an acute awareness of our blessings.

as meg says:
It is both a great privilege and a huge responsibility to be getting married in the middle of this fight for civil rights, this fight for marriage.

i know how easy it is to get complacent about such things, so i was super grateful to meg for blogging so beautifully about this issue. do yourself a favor and read it!

prop 8 - rhymes with hate

Really?? Dude!! California!! I am SO disappointed in you. You're supposed to be a bastion of lefty politics! A sunny liberal paradise! A forward thinking, envelope-pushing pioneer! If you of all states can't get your heads into the 21st century, if you of all states insist on passing and upholding hateful, discriminatory laws, what hope does the rest of the country have?? Thank God for Iowa.....

I suppose it's a good thing that the couples who were married won't have their marriages nullified, but that hardly feels like a victory. I really cannot believe how hard headed and completely unreasonable people can be. This is a policy informed by ignorance and fear. One day we'll tell our grandchildren about this, and it will blow their minds that we lived in a time when only straight people were allowed to be married.

WE can do better than this.