Eleven Days

Okay, so tomorrow I can get the 10-day forecast on weather.com. But apparently accuweather has a FIFTEEN day forecast, and according to THAT, it is going to rain on October 10. NO!! I'm not totally freaked out though, because, I mean, how accurate are weather forecasts even for the CURRENT day? Not very. So I'm holding out hope. But still.... a little nervous. Sheesh, after all my big talk about rain.....

In other news, my wonderful and loving bridesmaids threw me an awesome surprise bachelorette party on Saturday (which explains the picture above)! All I have to say is amazing food, cinnamon-mango cocktails, and then an 80's dance party with glowing accessories. Perfection :) I don't know how I got so lucky, but I sure do have some ridiculously great friends!

p.s. my shoes just got here!! and they fit perfectly!!

Rings!!

Two weeks from today will be my wedding day!!

We bought our rings, custom made, on etsy (yay etsy!). We got them in the mail yesterday, and they're perfect!! Simple, pretty, and they fit! I highly recommend Laurie Sarah Designs - they were great to work with, super accommodating, and I am so psyched about the results!

I don't know why, but nothing has made this wedding feel more real, or made me more excited, than trying on our rings. Seriously, seeing Matt wearing a wedding ring just made me so giddy! I was caught off guard by how happy and giggly I got - and have been ever since :) It suddenly brought it all into focus for me - the heaps of unnecessary stress, worrying over details like labels and signs, all so insignificant in the face of what we're going to be doing in two weeks. It made me, for the first time, really and truly NOT CARE about the food, the booze, or the decorations. If it rains and no one shows up, if the pom-poms and garlands don't get finished, if there's no ice at the bar, I know I will not give a single crap. Because I'm going to be married to my best friend and that's enough, on it's own, to make me happy for a long long time - no perfect wedding required.

Happy weekend!

Sixteen Days

Holy crapsticks. Sixteen days left. You know, the thing that boggles my mind is not that I have a bunch of stuff still left to do for the wedding. No, what's stressing me out is not knowing how on earth I'm going to manage to do all that while still living my normal life. You know, where I have OTHER things to do as well. Non-wedding related things. Like finding a job. Like working on the three freelance projects I've been studiously ignoring. Like keeping my apartment clean and inhabitable. Ack!


Andy Sandberg as Cathy. ACK!!

Matt has been in Miami all week for work, and I had visions of him coming home to a beautiful, clean apartment, with a fully stocked fridge and a calm, collected fiancee. Looks like THAT'S not happening! And I think I'm making it worse by being annoyed with myself for not being able to fulfill that ideal. So I'm just spinning my wheels, making myself even more stressed.

If there's one thing you can say about me, it's that I'm not shy about putting it all out there, eh? But it's important, I think, to write about the messy, uncomfortable, STRESSFUL parts of wedding planning - or, more accurately, married life planning. Because that's what I really feel like I'm prepping for. I want our wedding to feel like the first day of our new life together. But it's such a big idea, I think I'm overwhelming myself with demands of perfection. It must be time to head over to A Practical Wedding, or $2000 Wedding. The voices of sanity in the wedding planning world :) And then I need a clean apartment, a bank account in the triple digits (that's not too much to ask, is it??), and a nice loooong vacation.

A girl can dream, can't she?

Oh, and I bought these shoes.....

How to be fair to your guests..... even if they ARE family :)

This post, from Sara at $2000 Wedding, about the benefits of NOT being the perfect host at your wedding got me thinking. I could see that as my real downfall - I tend to get anxious about keeping everyone happy when we have a party, and I can totally see myself worrying more about whether things are running according to schedule than actually experiencing the day. So today I am trying to let my inner control freak go, and figure out a way to delegate, delegate, delegate.

I've already foreseen this problem, to an extent. I pictured us, at the end of the ceremony, surrounded by loving friends and relatives, trying to hug us and congratulate us, and me being distracted by wondering if there's enough ice at the bar, or trying to figure out how to get people to move to the reception hall. So I asked two of my cousins (who are actually more like sisters) to be my "day-of coordinators." I trust them implicitly, we think the same way, and I know they won't resent me for asking! I've made sure that their duties will be as light as possible - in fact they probably won't have to do much at all, just the knowledge that they're there with their gettin-shit-done hats on will help me relax.

But at the end of the night... our venue is a Unitarian Church, and they need the decorations taken down before Sunday morning. They have their own cleaning crew and all, but we need to remove the bunting, pom-poms, garlands, string lights, centerpieces, balloons, and photobooth before we leave the place. Originally I was planning to divide the jobs up, and give them out to willing family. One thing per person, so it wouldn't be overwhelming. But then I started writing it out, and it felt like a lot to ask my uncles and aunts and cousins to take half an hour in the middle of festivities (the reception is from 5-10, and then the afterparty will immediately follow at the hotel) to pull down decorations. So I'm thinking about asking my little brother (who's a senior in high school) if he has any (responsible!) friends who want to make a few bucks by taking them all down for us. What do you think? I think it's genius :)

So that's what's on my mind today, 17 days before the wedding. The actual nuts and bolts of the day, how it will flow, who will do what, and how do I make sure I am fully present and centered, without putting too much of a burden on my loved ones.

Wah.

I'm finding it hard not to feel sorry for myself right now. I found out today that two, and potentially three of my favorite family members aren't coming to the wedding. I didn't think it would upset me so much to have people decline the invitation, but it does make me sad :(

Another reason to elope - you don't have to feel disappointed when people can't make it!

Miscellaneous Prettiness

Our apartment right now? Not so pretty. Dirty dishes in the sink. Clean laundry waiting to be folded and put away. Pile of dirty laundry threatening to mingle with clean laundry. Kitchen table covered in wedding to-do lists and in-progress artwork. A layer of dust on, um, everything.
Me? Not so pretty. Hair that hasn't been washed in so long it is standing on end. Frumpy bathrobe, granny panties and holey sweats.
These shoes? PRETTY.

These little pieces of awesome are all via ModCloth - I feel like I've been living under a rock or something, because there is no other way I could have missed this store!! Seriously, I don't want to sound like I'm advertising for them, but if you haven't already, you need to check them out. Not just shoes, dresses, pants, tops... the whole kit and kaboodle. LOVE!!

Nineteen Days!!

Sheesh. Nineteen days. And my calm cool exterior is beginning to show some cracks! I had my first anxiety dream about the wedding last night. I dreamed that right before the ceremony, my dress ripped, and my sister and I were frantically going through her closet to try and find a suitable alternative. I remember that horrible feeling of having people waiting for me, while I realize I'm nowhere NEAR ready for them, and that weird dream feeling of everything slowing down, just as you're trying so desperately to speed up. I woke up feeling like a basket case!!

In real life, I suppose what's happening is that it's dawning on me how very very close the wedding is, and how many more details we have to take care of. I know, really, that it will all be fine, that I have enough time, that we've worked out our schedule so that everything will get done. But it's really like something has clicked - that holy-crap-I-only-have-two-weekends-between-now-and-the-wedding-and-holy-moses-I-can't-put-anything-off-anymore-yikes-yikes-yikes!! feeling. You know that feeling?

AAAAnyway......... I also need some part time employment. Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?? Artist/Illustrator/Nanny/Errand girl for hire!!

Thats all for now.... I promise to be better this week and get back to regular posting. With pretty pictures and everything!!

Oh, and what do you think of these shoes?
The battle between flats and heels is still raging. I need to come to a resolution soon!!