thirty-seven

Is it too early to start a countdown?

We have 37 days until the wedding, and while things are - for the most part - under control, I can't help but feel overwhelmed sometimes but the number of little things left to organize. I just try to keep breathing, and remember that I'm not going to get it all done in a day, and trust that Matt and I are smart and capable, and that it will all be fine. Breathe.

My sister, my mother and my bridesmaids threw me a wedding shower this past Sunday. It was a total blast! I will say, though, that I felt very out of sorts during and after the party. Not in a bad way, I'm just not very comfortable being the center of so much attention, and I was totally exhausted by it! It felt a bit strange, having all those women go out of their way to come to a party in my honor, and give me gifts, for no other reason than that I am getting married. I felt humbled and giddy and overstimulated and loved. I had a hard time accepting all that generosity, because I felt like I hadn't done anything to deserve it. And maybe that's just a deeper personal issue being brought to light (in fact, I know it is - aren't you all so lucky? You get to be my therapists now!), but it's got me a tad nervous about the actual wedding. I'm slightly afraid that I will feel so overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of people looking at me, doing things for me, loving me, that I won't be able to get grounded and fully experience the ceremony. Matt points out, very wisely, that on the wedding day he and I will actually be sharing the attention, so it won't be all on me the way it was at the shower, and he's right. But still. I get so overstimulated and giddy when I'm around a critical mass of people whom I love.

I suppose I will just have to continue my current strategy of breathing and trusting. Breathe!

And now, my big reveal - yes this is me, wearing my very fashionable shower hat. I figured, the ribbons obscure my face enough that it's only a partial reveal :) Don't ask why I'm playing the tiny guitar. Just don't.



Tah Dah!

Stay tuned tomorrow for my wedding vision!