Friday, July 31, 2009


So I'm here today, in the office, and it's my last day with these shady characters who don't deserve me. At this point I just can't wait to get the hell out the door. But I wanted to share this with y'all. I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself, and I came across this post by the broke-ass bride (one of my favorites - always good for a healthy dose of lighten-the-hell-up!!). It's incredibly moving - and so brave of her to be so shatteringly honest and vulnerable. And it REALLY woke me up. Hello!!!! The world is so not out to get me. Crap things happen to good people sometimes, thats all. And the crap that's happened to me in my life - while all truly crappy and trying - is really really REALLY not that bad. And the good stuff that's happened, well, there's been a whole lot of it, and it's been REALLY good.
So, I kind of got over myself.


Next week I am totally without work. So next week, I launch my get-back-to-working-out-and-doing-daily-yoga-and-meditating-and-no-longer-eating-like-a-pig routine. Well, the goal is that it's not so much a routine as it is a lifestyle. So yeah. Also next week - it's back to the drawing board. Literally. I'm supposedly an illustrator and artist by trade, but I haven't felt like one in quite a while. The goal is to finish my first line of wedding invitations next week. Make the mock ups and shoot them the week after. And then open the new etsy shop the week after that.

It feels like I'm stepping into a new beginning.
a peaceful garden (with snacks!) to suit my mood.... via wren handmade.
p.s. any ideas for my new shop name?

Thursday, July 30, 2009

laid off

I'm feeling pretty low today. I was laid off from my office job on Tuesday. It was completely unexpected, and they handled the whole thing pretty badly - I was given less than a weeks notice and a pretty shoddy explanation. They are fairly full of shit, and I am pretty sure there is some shadiness going on, but what can I, a lowly part-time receptionist, really do about it? I think it's best to wash my hands of them and move forward. They will be left with their bad karma and their mean little lives. I don't need that kind of nastiness in my life.

I wasn't really sure how to write about this turn of events. There is so much going through my head. I'm hurt and shocked and feeling more than a little put-upon - there is definitely this, "damn it, universe, what did I ever do to you?" feeling. I mean, I was, for the first time in my life, actually enjoying work. Both of my part time gigs, and my freelance work, were all pretty satisfying. I was LOVING the fact that I didn't get filled with dread every Sunday evening, as had been the case for pretty much my entire working life. And then the rug just got pulled out from under me. So there's anger. And then fear. A lot of fear. Like how am I going to pay my bills? I'm losing 60% of my income! And I was just making it before. So this means it's back to monthly panic attacks while I try to figure out where the money for my school loans is coming from. Where rent money is coming from. How I'm going to pay for food. And on and on. This means I have to lean way too heavily on Matt for financial support - and frankly, things aren't so good for him either, so I'm afraid he won't be able to stretch his money far enough to cover us both. So I'm terrified. Not to mention the job market is looking pretty bleak these days, so it's difficult to even pep myself up with talk about how I'll find some great job any day now. And on top of that, I'm fairly humiliated. I couldn't hold on to a receptionist job. Not to knock the job - receptionists and admins are the unsung heroes of the business world. Fatcat execs have hardly an inkling of what these people do for them every day. Without them entire industries would come crashing to the ground. BUT. I have two college degrees. I'm smart! And talented! And my reception job, in particular, was a total breeze. And I was going above and beyond what I had been trained to do. So it feels pretty shitty that with all my innate intelligence, all my fancy education, and all my effort to make a niche for myself, I was deemed not enough. Anyway, there's the self pity.

Okay, I honestly didn't know this was going to turn into such a diatribe. I'll get to the point now.

So I'm having to reassess things. Figure out my next step. And I'm thinking I need to re-focus on the illustration and design career that had always been my goal, but had kind of receded into the background a bit. And this is what I'm thinking: wedding invitations. I've played around with this idea before, but now that I've done my own, I feel like I have new insight. I have a clear idea about what it takes to put them together, and based on some freelance work I've done in that vein, I have a better idea of how to best run such a business.

So this is just to tell everyone - I'm going to be putting together a line of wedding suites in the next few weeks, and selling them on etsy. I'll be opening a new etsy shop, dedicated to this endeavor. So spread the word, and keep your eye out for the shop opening!

And here, to end, is a picture my father sent me the other day - some of my early work. Circa 1983.

Friday, July 24, 2009

behind the ball on this one, but still...

Watch this!!

When I first clicked on this I had mixed feelings - but by the end I was all choked up and wanted to watch their whole wedding!!

Happy Birthday Matt!!

Today is a good day. Today is the 29th anniversary of my future-husband's birth!!
Thanks for being born shmoo :)
(the great artwork is by freya - thanks for turning me on to her, anna!)

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Color Swoon!

Love love LOVE these colors... especially the top right picture. So bright and happy! I'm on the lookout for anything that color turquoise to use in our decor....

*happy sigh*

Gemma and Tim, 1978, Continued

Okay, as promised, some more pics of my parents on their wedding day....

I'm not sure if this is before or after the ceremony, but somehow it has a distinct "waiting" kind of vibe, so I'm guessing it's pre-nuptuals. Thats my Dad on the left, sporting the sweet Jimminey Cricket tails, and my Uncle Barnabas on the right, sporting the beard to end all beards. Would you believe he's now rocking a completely shaved head and face?

Tim and Gemma were married on July 15, 1978, in Toronto. My Uncle Peter was the Best Man, and my Mom's friend Debbie was her MOH. In the front row, to the right of the priest, you can see my two Grannies!

Another angle on the ceremony. See the dress Debbie's wearing? My Mom told me the coolest story about that. The year my parents were married, Debbie was also married. So Mom and Debbie bought this dress together, and then they each wore it to the others wedding. How awesome is that??

The newlyweds, leaving the church... by the way, my Mom was wearing giant heels here - she's 5'4" to his 6'3" :)

And doing the meet-and-greet, post ceremony (their friend Mike rocking a sweet blue suit!).

Cutting the cake!

My Mom got her dress off the rack for like $30. She bought a whole whack of wine and cheese and a cake. Friends of their parents lent them their home and yard for the party. Simple simple simple!!
And now 31 years later, they're still together and happy - they're my marriage role models, to be sure.

Tuesday: the new Monday?

I just killed a roach the size of my hand in the ladies room at work. Good morning to you too, world!

It stained the tile. Just saying.

Monday, July 20, 2009

how does your garden grow?

Yay! First day of quasi-vacation is off to a great start. I'm feeling pretty productive today, even if I am avoiding certain (house cleaning) tasks...

I know I promised more pictures from my parent's wedding, but if you don't mind terribly, I'm going to wait until tomorrow to post those. Because today, my wonderful, handsome, TALENTED husband-to-be (who just happens to be a professional photographer - lucky me!) went out and took some beautiful shots of our garden! Let me share....

The bird feeder and random old weatherbeaten wood table that the previous tenant left.... we're either going to chuck it, or I'm going to put loads of potted plants on it....

The Echinacea flowers...

and our yellow rosebush!

More of the Echinacea - and Daisies!

Come on, these pictures are so amazing it's almost obscene. I mean, the garden is lovely, but Matt made it look like magic! It's so great having an outdoor space - this morning I actually did some yoga out there, and I swear it's put me in a good mood for the entire day. It's easy to feel disconnected in NYC - but nothing cures it like some greenery!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Gemma and Tim, 1978

A few weeks back, I was visiting my parents, and found myself looking through their wedding album. Probably because I'm planning my own wedding, I felt freshly fascinated by the story of their wedding day. I had never really been that interested in the logistics of the day; who was in their bridal party, what they wore, what was the ceremony like, where they had the reception (did they HAVE a reception??), what kind of flowers my mother had, who helped put it all together, etc. etc. And so I picked their brains a little, and got to hear (for the first time) about how they and their friends and family gathered at the house of a family friend with a giant backyard, and had wine and cheese and cake, and how spontaneous dancing broke out when someone brought a radio (record player? I can't remember... this was 1978 after all.... did they even have electricity??) outside. I should probably get my pops to write about it, but for now, I just wanted to put up a little teaser, as I'm not feeling especially eloquent right now, and want to make sure I do this very important wedding justice in the re-telling :)

So here they are, my favorite married couple, on their wedding day: July 17, 1978 (there is a chance, being the degenerate daughter I am, that I'm wrong about the exact date.... but I'm pretty sure.... definitely '78 though!!)

I sure do love them :)

Stay tuned for more!!

Friday, July 17, 2009

lovely lovely love

Photography by Tec Petaja

These are from forever ago - they're from a wedding featured on Once Wed, and they just capture, for me, the essence of things. The way they're leaning their heads together as he reads - it's such a real and loving gesture... it makes me feel all warm and mushy! It cuts through all the hooplah and bullshit, you know? These people are getting married because they love each other enough to want to formally commit to spending the rest of their lives together. That's it, end of story. Yes!! It really is a beautiful wedding - go check it out, if you haven't already!

Now that we're 99% moved into the new place, and what with tomorrow being my first day off and at home since we moved (can you hear the angels sing? hahhh-leluja!!!) I'm finding my brain turning back to all things wedding. Specifically all things OUR wedding. Specifically, I am at the point now, with less than three months to go, where all those things, all those thoughts and maybes and possibilities that have been floating around in my head, need to actually be sorted out, cut down, and put into action. It's time to organize, edit and act! And yes, I just said the same thing in two different ways. AND, in one hour and twenty minutes, I'll be on quasi-vacation for three whole weeks!! What that means, if you're wondering, is I am holiday from one of my two jobs - as a result I'll only be working two days a week. And that sounds pretty much like heaven. So I plan to sleep in, FINALLY get a chance to enjoy our garden in the mornings, catch up on projects, play around with some art, draw a lot, and hop to the wedding planning!

And hopefully, have more time and energy to pour into my neglected little blog :)

Have a WONDERFUL weekend!

Friday, July 10, 2009

three months!!

Holy macaroni - it JUST hit me that the wedding is EXACTLY 3 months away, as of today.


on moving and exhaustion

via design sponge

So, I am way overdue for a post, and yet feel completely at a loss as to what to say. I'm exhausted, and have been for all of July, in fact. This is largely due to the move, I suppose, coupled with the fact that I've had early mornings every day for the past two weeks, but have been finding it difficult to get to bed before midnight. I have to say though, that I've gotten a lot done in these few weeks.... maybe I'll just brag a bit :)

1. Move into a new apartment? check (ok, so Matt did most of it, since I was working every day, but still!! I did a lot!
2. Design, print, assemble, hand-address, and mail 88 invitations? check!
3. Force myself to go for an annual doctor checkup that was almost 2 years overdue, and that I was dreading? check! (hey, i'm proud of myself, okay?)

Okay, so that's only three things. Three measly little things. But each one entailed so much work!! ANYWAY I'm even boring myself now, so I'll shutup about this.

What I need to do is go home and take pictures of my beautiful new backyard and garden and rosebushes so that I can show off a bit. Yeah.

Did I mention that I'm completely thrilled to have gotten the invitations out?? Now I'm antsy for people to start RSVPing on our website! Yay! If you're reading this and you got an invite, go RSVP now!! And if would be super fantastic if you were to sign the guest book too :)

Tomorrow will be a busy day - working from 9:00 to 1:00 and then trekking to Jersey City for a wedding party - but after that I am DEEPLY excited about sleeping in on Sunday. I feel like I could sleep for about a week. Oy!

Happy weekend everyone! Enjoy!!

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

too much

too much to do and not enough time.... stupid holiday weekend! stupid plans! all i want to do is get moved into our new apartment. no time no time. the stress is getting to me.