It's raining cats and dogs outside my window... but I'm feeling mellow and content. It's nice. We're heading down to my parent's house tonight, and tomorrow I'm taking Matt to see our venue (he's such a brave, trusting soul for taking my word and the pictures as proof of its awesomeness) - the one and only time I've ever seen it was on a rainy day, and now it looks like tomorrow will be more of the same. Hopefully this means mother nature is getting it all out of her system so that October 10 will be dry and sunny. Then on Sunday, my beautiful sister is throwing me a bridal shower!! I feel so lucky :)
Meg over at A Practical wedding wrote a wonderful post today, and it's just pumped a little more excitement and happiness into me :) Go read it. It's a little wedding graduate wisdom, delivered in an elegant and completely gut-hitting way. Seriously, read it.
So we had a flood in our basement two nights ago. Matt was washing dishes and I was drying them and putting them away. Matt turned off the water, and weirdly, I kept hearing it. We realized it was coming from the basement, and ran down... my poor Matt has his office down there, and there was a small pond under his desk, soaking the bottom of his computer tower, his battery back-up, and a bunch of his papers he had piled on the floor, in true Matt-fashion. He also had his amp down there, and it was actually filled with water. He was not a happy camper. So we were up until almost 2am cleaning up the mess and calling/texting the landlords. Finally crashed. Matt's new blackberry slept next to us, and woke us up every half hour with new emails. Then the alarm went off at 5:30 so that Matt could make it to his shoot in time. At that point I had had such a restless night of sleep, I couldn't stand being in bed anymore, so I got up as well. Then it was a day of dealing with landlords, sewer guys, maintenance people, and my fellow tenants (I had to beg them not to flush their toilets or use any water, cause every time they did, nasty sewage filled my basement and I had to take it outside, one bucket at a time). Super fun!! But by 5:00 it was all fixed, all handled, and I seriously felt awesome. Sometimes it takes a huge pain in the ass situation like that one to make you appreciate the so-called "little" things. Like having clean, indoor, running water. Like having toilets that flush. Definitely a mood booster :)
And now it's almost noon, and I've only been awake for two and a half hours, and I haven't gotten anything done, other than catching up on my blog reading, researching little coastal towns in Oregon (just because there is a part of me that fantasizes about escaping the dirt and noise and millions of people per square mile that is New York). But that's okay. I'm giving myself a pass for this morning. I'm just feeling good and lucky and blessed. And I also know that everything will be well. So I'm going to enjoy myself!
Speaking of which, the wedding is 45 days away!! Zoinks!! This week, I've found that all the bazillions of decor ideas that have been simmering for months, but still hadn't formed a cohesive plan, have suddenly started to fall into place. In my head at least, hah! But yeah, I'm not really sweating it... we'll be getting our marriage license in the next few weeks, and the rings, and after that, everything else is just icing, so to speak. And decorations or no, we have the most amazing family and friends in the world, and we'll have a beautiful location, good food, good music, good booze, and it will be fantastic. And you know what? Even if all that somehow fell through, it will still be fantastic, because WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!!
And sunflowers will be in season. Single bloom per maid?? I think so!!
Okay, so this post is mostly a copy-and-paste job, but I just came across this post by Bride in Exile over at Wedding Planning in Exile, and it made bells of joy go off inside me. That's a strange image, but really - it resonated!! So I just wanted to share them, in case there is anyone out there who missed them. I myself am a newbie to her fantastic blog - and if you haven't read it yet, go there now (or after you read this)!!
"If you throw a Saturday night wedding in the summer and limit your guest list to family and close friends, some people will claim you're being selfish by having a "fancy" wedding at the expense of including more people. If you throw a lunchtime wedding on a Sunday for 300 people, including everyone's dates and roommates and pets, some people will gripe that they barely got to see the bride and groom and wonder why you needed to have so many people there. Hire a live band, and you're sure to hear someone complaining that the "real" songs played by a DJ are more fun. Hire a DJ, and someone will tell you a live band is always better. And if you throw the fanciest Saturday night wedding imaginable for 300 guests, have a ten-hour reception so you can visit with all of them, and you somehow manage to have a DJ and a live band, someone will sniff that you shouldn't have "wasted" all that money.
So accept now that whatever choice you make, someone somewhere on your guest list probably won't like it. Guess what? It doesn't matter. It's your wedding, and you get to set the priorities."
Ah. Can you feel the fresh air? She's put into words what I felt in my gut but was having trouble expressing in a non-violent way :) Check out the rest of this post for more refreshingly clear, wise, guilt-relieving words...
Matt and I sat down to have a "financial summit" yesterday. Ack. As money is apparently the number one cause of marriage failures (or something like that), we felt like it was important to tackle it pre-wedding. You know, bring to the table all the cold hard numbers: what we owe, what our personal bills are, what we make (we had rough ideas of one anothers stats, but we'd never actually laid it all out on the table). And dear readers, it was frightening. Few things can break me down into a quivering blob of tears faster than talking about my insane debt and pathetic income. Combine that with a career-ly frustrated Matt who's freelance work has felt the effects of the recession, and you get something of a powder keg. Deciding how to merge our (in my case very messy) finances is proving to be stressful, to say the least. I've been repeating the mantra "we are a team, we are a team, we are a team" and it's helping. I have to admit though, that as the partner with the shabby finances, my difficulty is in believing that marrying me is actually a prudent move on his part. And the old insecurity rises again! Ah well. He's nothing but reassuring on that front. And I know all will be well - it's just the getting there that has me a bit tense today.
Anyone have any words of wisdom about constructing a joint financial system?
So I'm veeeeery slowly getting back into the swing of things. As I wrote that I felt physical relief come over me - I've been stressing myself out, berating myself for not being on top of things yet - and the idea that I could give myself permission to take it slow is kind of mid-blowing. But it's true... the world is not going to end if I take a week to get back in control of my life, rather than doing it in a day. Right??
I've noticed that my last few posts have been a) not very wedding-y AT ALL, and b) preeetty bitter and unhappy sounding. SO. I would like to change that. Admittedly, I haven't been in the greatest of moods (or mind-sets) over the past few weeks. But sometimes I forget that I DO have control over my moods - sometimes I give them too much power. It's all about your outlook - I'm a firm believer in life reflecting the energy you put out. So here I am, trying to reign in the pessimism and poor-little-me attitude that I've been unconsciously wallowing in. Wish me luck!
Along those lines, I've been catching up on my favorite blogs - and came across a completely awesome-looking wedding on snippet and ink. It seems so down to earth, and cozy, and happy... and they did something I found rather kick-ass - they gave each guest a mason jar to use as their drinking glass all night.
Am I crazy? Or is this not completely cool-looking, neato, green (re: reuseable), and budget friendly? My question is, since we're using the paper plates and plastic utensils provided by our caterer (neither pretty nor environmentally friendly - but certainly budget friendly, as it is included in our cost, and with our drop in income, we just can't afford to rent china and silverware), would it be TOO casual to use mason jars as glassware?
Also, I think I may be hopping on the pom-pom bandwagon. I was UTTERLY opposed to them for so long, but I'm beginning to be swayed... thinking of them more as mexican paper flowers has helped, and when used in a more casual, less fussy wedding, they seem like an easy way to up the festivity. Thoughts?
So here we go - just a quick one this morning, and then more to follow this afternoon or evening. I apologize in advance, as this one is not pretty (no visuals) and not light and fluffy and yummy. This is about something that's crunchy and sticks in my throat. And yes, I'm being figurative here. Basically, it's one of those really freaking annoying things that seem to pop up when one is planning a wedding. Now I am CERTAINLY not a stickler for etiquette. At least not "traditional" wedding etiquette (which is kind of a misnomer, as I'm discovering everybody has their own ideas about what "traditional" wedding etiquette means, and expects that everyone else to share their holy code. In fact, it varies a great deal from person to person, resulting in a shitstorm of conflict). In my view, as long as everyone is respectful, and adheres to normal, everyday etiquette, all is sunny. BUT. Get this. And tell me if I'm being crazy.
A friend of Matt's had RSVP'd for the reception. But NOT for the ceremony. I assumed this was an oversight on his part, and put him and his wife down as a yes for both. Then Matt made a comment about Alan (not his real name) saying to him that he wasn't coming to the ceremony because he didn't feel comfortable in a church. WHAT??? So I emailed Alan, to say, in a non-aggressive way, whats up? We just noticed you didn't RSVP for the ceremony - that was just an oversight, right? And he emails back something to the effect of "I haven't been to a wedding or to church in ages, what's the protocol" (okay, it was actually pretty much those exact words). Seriously?? What's the protocol?? Um, someone invites you to their WEDDING, so that you can see them get MARRIED. If you're uncomfortable with the venue, you either don't go at all (what is this "we're not coming to the ceremony but we'll eat your food and drink your booze afterwards" bullshit????) or you SUCK IT UP because they're your friends and you love them and want to share the moment with them! I was kind of at a loss for what to say in response, so I wrote something like "well, we're NOT having it in a church (it's insulting that I even have to say that - first because he knows us and knows we're not religious, and second because it shouldn't matter, and at this point I feel like I'm begging him to come, which I REALLY shouldn't have to do), and it's going to be really relaxed and low key. We don't want you to do anything you're uncomfortable with, but it would definitely be our preference to have you at the ceremony." Then he writes back one line "I'll talk to Elaine (also not her real name)."
What? WHAT?? Seriously, at this point I just want to tell him not to bother. Please tell me if I'm blowing this out of proportion. Although I have to say you'll have a reeeally hard time convincing me not to be deeply insulted and pissed off. Who DOES that??
ALSO, please please please, what do I say to him if he says he's not coming to the ceremony? He is a good friend of Matt's and they often work together, so we really can't do anything that would burn bridges. But I don't know that I can let it go....
I suppose that really wasn't so short. OR quick :) Thanks for listening...
If I were fancy, I'd figure out how to have a voting application on here - but I'm not, and I'm in a hurry!! So quick! Tell me which name you prefer for my wedding invitation (and probably future stationary) etsy shop!!
**note: sadly, the other names I had posted here earlier are taken :(
TurtlebirdPaper (ties in with my other shop, TurtleBird - but I wonder if papermoon is prettier...)