Love Thy Neighbor (even if it's a crappy day)

It's a rainy rainy GLOOMY day here in Brooklyn, and I woke up with a major case of the blahs. Sometimes when you're grumpy, the best thing is to focus on something other than yourself. Case in point: my husband showed me this link to his good friend, Walter Smith's website. Walt is a great photographer here in NYC, and he's come up with a really cool idea - he's offering up some original Walter Smith prints (both for sale and as a raffle prize, depending on how much you can give) - with 100% of the proceeds going to the OXFAM Haiti Earthquake Response Fund. So head over to his site, check out his beautiful work, and maybe snag some for yourself. It's for a very worthy cause.

It's an awesome idea, and hopefully more artists will follow suit!

p.s. please share the link!

Miscellaneous Prettiness

Our apartment right now? Not so pretty. Dirty dishes in the sink. Clean laundry waiting to be folded and put away. Pile of dirty laundry threatening to mingle with clean laundry. Kitchen table covered in wedding to-do lists and in-progress artwork. A layer of dust on, um, everything.
Me? Not so pretty. Hair that hasn't been washed in so long it is standing on end. Frumpy bathrobe, granny panties and holey sweats.
These shoes? PRETTY.

These little pieces of awesome are all via ModCloth - I feel like I've been living under a rock or something, because there is no other way I could have missed this store!! Seriously, I don't want to sound like I'm advertising for them, but if you haven't already, you need to check them out. Not just shoes, dresses, pants, tops... the whole kit and kaboodle. LOVE!!

Forty-Five!!

Meg over at A Practical wedding wrote a wonderful post today, and it's just pumped a little more excitement and happiness into me :) Go read it. It's a little wedding graduate wisdom, delivered in an elegant and completely gut-hitting way. Seriously, read it.



So we had a flood in our basement two nights ago. Matt was washing dishes and I was drying them and putting them away. Matt turned off the water, and weirdly, I kept hearing it. We realized it was coming from the basement, and ran down... my poor Matt has his office down there, and there was a small pond under his desk, soaking the bottom of his computer tower, his battery back-up, and a bunch of his papers he had piled on the floor, in true Matt-fashion. He also had his amp down there, and it was actually filled with water. He was not a happy camper. So we were up until almost 2am cleaning up the mess and calling/texting the landlords. Finally crashed. Matt's new blackberry slept next to us, and woke us up every half hour with new emails. Then the alarm went off at 5:30 so that Matt could make it to his shoot in time. At that point I had had such a restless night of sleep, I couldn't stand being in bed anymore, so I got up as well. Then it was a day of dealing with landlords, sewer guys, maintenance people, and my fellow tenants (I had to beg them not to flush their toilets or use any water, cause every time they did, nasty sewage filled my basement and I had to take it outside, one bucket at a time). Super fun!! But by 5:00 it was all fixed, all handled, and I seriously felt awesome. Sometimes it takes a huge pain in the ass situation like that one to make you appreciate the so-called "little" things. Like having clean, indoor, running water. Like having toilets that flush. Definitely a mood booster :)

And now it's almost noon, and I've only been awake for two and a half hours, and I haven't gotten anything done, other than catching up on my blog reading, researching little coastal towns in Oregon (just because there is a part of me that fantasizes about escaping the dirt and noise and millions of people per square mile that is New York). But that's okay. I'm giving myself a pass for this morning. I'm just feeling good and lucky and blessed. And I also know that everything will be well. So I'm going to enjoy myself!

Speaking of which, the wedding is 45 days away!! Zoinks!! This week, I've found that all the bazillions of decor ideas that have been simmering for months, but still hadn't formed a cohesive plan, have suddenly started to fall into place. In my head at least, hah! But yeah, I'm not really sweating it... we'll be getting our marriage license in the next few weeks, and the rings, and after that, everything else is just icing, so to speak. And decorations or no, we have the most amazing family and friends in the world, and we'll have a beautiful location, good food, good music, good booze, and it will be fantastic. And you know what? Even if all that somehow fell through, it will still be fantastic, because WE'RE GETTING MARRIED!!



And sunflowers will be in season. Single bloom per maid?? I think so!!

Back in the saddle?

So I'm veeeeery slowly getting back into the swing of things. As I wrote that I felt physical relief come over me - I've been stressing myself out, berating myself for not being on top of things yet - and the idea that I could give myself permission to take it slow is kind of mid-blowing. But it's true... the world is not going to end if I take a week to get back in control of my life, rather than doing it in a day. Right??

I've noticed that my last few posts have been a) not very wedding-y AT ALL, and b) preeetty bitter and unhappy sounding. SO. I would like to change that. Admittedly, I haven't been in the greatest of moods (or mind-sets) over the past few weeks. But sometimes I forget that I DO have control over my moods - sometimes I give them too much power. It's all about your outlook - I'm a firm believer in life reflecting the energy you put out. So here I am, trying to reign in the pessimism and poor-little-me attitude that I've been unconsciously wallowing in. Wish me luck!

Along those lines, I've been catching up on my favorite blogs - and came across a completely awesome-looking wedding on snippet and ink. It seems so down to earth, and cozy, and happy... and they did something I found rather kick-ass - they gave each guest a mason jar to use as their drinking glass all night.


Jenna Walker Photography

Am I crazy? Or is this not completely cool-looking, neato, green (re: reuseable), and budget friendly? My question is, since we're using the paper plates and plastic utensils provided by our caterer (neither pretty nor environmentally friendly - but certainly budget friendly, as it is included in our cost, and with our drop in income, we just can't afford to rent china and silverware), would it be TOO casual to use mason jars as glassware?

Also, I think I may be hopping on the pom-pom bandwagon. I was UTTERLY opposed to them for so long, but I'm beginning to be swayed... thinking of them more as mexican paper flowers has helped, and when used in a more casual, less fussy wedding, they seem like an easy way to up the festivity. Thoughts?


via a practical wedding

In yellows and turquoise, maybe some white ones as well? I think I love it :)

popping in

just to say hello....

been away too long.... spent the last five days in toronto, which was lovely, only now i'm behind on my life :)

and i need a little positivity in my life. anyone have some words of wisdom for me?

back soon.

xo

perspective

So I'm here today, in the office, and it's my last day with these shady characters who don't deserve me. At this point I just can't wait to get the hell out the door. But I wanted to share this with y'all. I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself, and I came across this post by the broke-ass bride (one of my favorites - always good for a healthy dose of lighten-the-hell-up!!). It's incredibly moving - and so brave of her to be so shatteringly honest and vulnerable. And it REALLY woke me up. Hello!!!! The world is so not out to get me. Crap things happen to good people sometimes, thats all. And the crap that's happened to me in my life - while all truly crappy and trying - is really really REALLY not that bad. And the good stuff that's happened, well, there's been a whole lot of it, and it's been REALLY good.

So, I kind of got over myself.

(phew).

Next week I am totally without work. So next week, I launch my get-back-to-working-out-and-doing-daily-yoga-and-meditating-and-no-longer-eating-like-a-pig routine. Well, the goal is that it's not so much a routine as it is a lifestyle. So yeah. Also next week - it's back to the drawing board. Literally. I'm supposedly an illustrator and artist by trade, but I haven't felt like one in quite a while. The goal is to finish my first line of wedding invitations next week. Make the mock ups and shoot them the week after. And then open the new etsy shop the week after that.

It feels like I'm stepping into a new beginning.

a peaceful garden (with snacks!) to suit my mood.... via wren handmade.

p.s. any ideas for my new shop name?

laid off

I'm feeling pretty low today. I was laid off from my office job on Tuesday. It was completely unexpected, and they handled the whole thing pretty badly - I was given less than a weeks notice and a pretty shoddy explanation. They are fairly full of shit, and I am pretty sure there is some shadiness going on, but what can I, a lowly part-time receptionist, really do about it? I think it's best to wash my hands of them and move forward. They will be left with their bad karma and their mean little lives. I don't need that kind of nastiness in my life.

I wasn't really sure how to write about this turn of events. There is so much going through my head. I'm hurt and shocked and feeling more than a little put-upon - there is definitely this, "damn it, universe, what did I ever do to you?" feeling. I mean, I was, for the first time in my life, actually enjoying work. Both of my part time gigs, and my freelance work, were all pretty satisfying. I was LOVING the fact that I didn't get filled with dread every Sunday evening, as had been the case for pretty much my entire working life. And then the rug just got pulled out from under me. So there's anger. And then fear. A lot of fear. Like how am I going to pay my bills? I'm losing 60% of my income! And I was just making it before. So this means it's back to monthly panic attacks while I try to figure out where the money for my school loans is coming from. Where rent money is coming from. How I'm going to pay for food. And on and on. This means I have to lean way too heavily on Matt for financial support - and frankly, things aren't so good for him either, so I'm afraid he won't be able to stretch his money far enough to cover us both. So I'm terrified. Not to mention the job market is looking pretty bleak these days, so it's difficult to even pep myself up with talk about how I'll find some great job any day now. And on top of that, I'm fairly humiliated. I couldn't hold on to a receptionist job. Not to knock the job - receptionists and admins are the unsung heroes of the business world. Fatcat execs have hardly an inkling of what these people do for them every day. Without them entire industries would come crashing to the ground. BUT. I have two college degrees. I'm smart! And talented! And my reception job, in particular, was a total breeze. And I was going above and beyond what I had been trained to do. So it feels pretty shitty that with all my innate intelligence, all my fancy education, and all my effort to make a niche for myself, I was deemed not enough. Anyway, there's the self pity.

Okay, I honestly didn't know this was going to turn into such a diatribe. I'll get to the point now.

So I'm having to reassess things. Figure out my next step. And I'm thinking I need to re-focus on the illustration and design career that had always been my goal, but had kind of receded into the background a bit. And this is what I'm thinking: wedding invitations. I've played around with this idea before, but now that I've done my own, I feel like I have new insight. I have a clear idea about what it takes to put them together, and based on some freelance work I've done in that vein, I have a better idea of how to best run such a business.

So this is just to tell everyone - I'm going to be putting together a line of wedding suites in the next few weeks, and selling them on etsy. I'll be opening a new etsy shop, dedicated to this endeavor. So spread the word, and keep your eye out for the shop opening!

And here, to end, is a picture my father sent me the other day - some of my early work. Circa 1983.

Tuesday: the new Monday?

I just killed a roach the size of my hand in the ladies room at work. Good morning to you too, world!

It stained the tile. Just saying.

how does your garden grow?

Yay! First day of quasi-vacation is off to a great start. I'm feeling pretty productive today, even if I am avoiding certain (house cleaning) tasks...

I know I promised more pictures from my parent's wedding, but if you don't mind terribly, I'm going to wait until tomorrow to post those. Because today, my wonderful, handsome, TALENTED husband-to-be (who just happens to be a professional photographer - lucky me!) went out and took some beautiful shots of our garden! Let me share....



The bird feeder and random old weatherbeaten wood table that the previous tenant left.... we're either going to chuck it, or I'm going to put loads of potted plants on it....



The Echinacea flowers...



and our yellow rosebush!



More of the Echinacea - and Daisies!



Come on, these pictures are so amazing it's almost obscene. I mean, the garden is lovely, but Matt made it look like magic! It's so great having an outdoor space - this morning I actually did some yoga out there, and I swear it's put me in a good mood for the entire day. It's easy to feel disconnected in NYC - but nothing cures it like some greenery!

lovely lovely love

Photography by Tec Petaja

These are from forever ago - they're from a wedding featured on Once Wed, and they just capture, for me, the essence of things. The way they're leaning their heads together as he reads - it's such a real and loving gesture... it makes me feel all warm and mushy! It cuts through all the hooplah and bullshit, you know? These people are getting married because they love each other enough to want to formally commit to spending the rest of their lives together. That's it, end of story. Yes!! It really is a beautiful wedding - go check it out, if you haven't already!

Now that we're 99% moved into the new place, and what with tomorrow being my first day off and at home since we moved (can you hear the angels sing? hahhh-leluja!!!) I'm finding my brain turning back to all things wedding. Specifically all things OUR wedding. Specifically, I am at the point now, with less than three months to go, where all those things, all those thoughts and maybes and possibilities that have been floating around in my head, need to actually be sorted out, cut down, and put into action. It's time to organize, edit and act! And yes, I just said the same thing in two different ways. AND, in one hour and twenty minutes, I'll be on quasi-vacation for three whole weeks!! What that means, if you're wondering, is I am holiday from one of my two jobs - as a result I'll only be working two days a week. And that sounds pretty much like heaven. So I plan to sleep in, FINALLY get a chance to enjoy our garden in the mornings, catch up on projects, play around with some art, draw a lot, and hop to the wedding planning!

And hopefully, have more time and energy to pour into my neglected little blog :)

Have a WONDERFUL weekend!

on moving and exhaustion

via design sponge

So, I am way overdue for a post, and yet feel completely at a loss as to what to say. I'm exhausted, and have been for all of July, in fact. This is largely due to the move, I suppose, coupled with the fact that I've had early mornings every day for the past two weeks, but have been finding it difficult to get to bed before midnight. I have to say though, that I've gotten a lot done in these few weeks.... maybe I'll just brag a bit :)

1. Move into a new apartment? check (ok, so Matt did most of it, since I was working every day, but still!! I did a lot!
2. Design, print, assemble, hand-address, and mail 88 invitations? check!
3. Force myself to go for an annual doctor checkup that was almost 2 years overdue, and that I was dreading? check! (hey, i'm proud of myself, okay?)

Okay, so that's only three things. Three measly little things. But each one entailed so much work!! ANYWAY I'm even boring myself now, so I'll shutup about this.

What I need to do is go home and take pictures of my beautiful new backyard and garden and rosebushes so that I can show off a bit. Yeah.

Did I mention that I'm completely thrilled to have gotten the invitations out?? Now I'm antsy for people to start RSVPing on our website! Yay! If you're reading this and you got an invite, go RSVP now!! And if would be super fantastic if you were to sign the guest book too :)

Tomorrow will be a busy day - working from 9:00 to 1:00 and then trekking to Jersey City for a wedding party - but after that I am DEEPLY excited about sleeping in on Sunday. I feel like I could sleep for about a week. Oy!

Happy weekend everyone! Enjoy!!

back to the fun stuff!!

After that rather heavy post on friday, I'm ready for something light and airy...

Isn't this gorgeous? So cosy and elegant all at once. Via Once Wed.

There's a lot going on these days! Obviously, the wedding: preparations roll on. We're trying to get all the invitations printed (check!), mounted (check!), wrapped, addressed, and mailed today. I bought the most awesome stamps yesterday:

I could eat them they are so freaking sweet!

I'll post pictures of the invites as soon as everyone's received theirs.

Also, we found out TODAY that we got the apartment! We're moving! I mean, we're just moving downstairs, so that's pretty rad, but moving nonetheless. And since our neighbor just moved out yesterday, the place is open NOW. So hopefully we can get the keys ASAP and do a gradual move over the course of the week. Which means I can clean the hell out of both places fairly easily. And the neat freak in me does a little jig. I'm stilling trying to wrap my brain around the fact that we're going to have a BACKYARD!! I can plant things!! I can have a vegetable garden!! I'm not even going to TRY and comprehend the fact that we're going to have a washer and dryer. One major life adjustment at a time, please! Hahaha, I just realized how ridiculous that sounds coming from me right now.

And trust, there WILL be pictures posted up here of our lovely new apartment very soon.

ALSO. i stumbled on this selection of dishware from Anthropologie. And I'm not exaggerating when I say that they make me DROOL. I have never lusted after dishes before. NEVER. But these.... holy moses. Needless to say, I figured out a way to register for them :)

Check it:

Be still my heart. I want a little of everything - the mixy matchyness would be so pretty. LOVE!

Oh, and if you need some help with keeping your perspective, or if you just want to giggle, check out this great article via 2000 wedding, via mental floss.

ttfn!!

feeling grateful

Every time I write the word "grateful" I have to pause - and not for any deep meaningful reason, but because I can never remember which one is the Greatful Dead spelling (it's that one, hehe) and which is the correct spelling. So I always end up thinking about the Greatful Dead. Which makes me think about high school. And, in particular, a kid I used to know who was a huge deadhead. And then I always remember this one day, riding kind of aimlessly with a bunch of friends in his car, listening to these bootleg Dead tapes (yes, cassette tapes).

According to weather.com, this is the 19th day of rain this month. What means we've had 7 dry days in June. And 3 of those days were overcast. That means there have been a total of 4 sunny, rain-free days. No wonder I've been feeling groggy and sleepy and generally undewhelmed. But today, as I sit here, the sun is peeking out, and I'm feeling deeply deeply grateful for my life.

This may sound ridiculous, but to be honest, I'm not really bothered if it does. All the celebrity death in the past 2 days (Farrah and MJ in one day?!? As a friend of mine said, it looks like God was greedy for celebrities yesterday) has got me thinking. Last night as I was trying to fall asleep, I started to feel panicky. It was weird enough to think that Michael Jackson was dead. But the fact that at any moment, someone I actually LOVE could be gone, just became so large and terrifying. I felt paralyzed by it. It is so easy to feel distant from the reality of death, especially when you're young and healthy and lucky enough to have had limited exposure to it. It's hard to know how to function with a hightened awareness of death. But for some reason, this afternoon, I'm feeling a sort of equilibrium settling in. A comfort with the unpredictable nature of our time on the planet. There's almost a sense of freedom that comes with this perspective: things that would normally bug me, or make me feel self-conscious and anxious, I'm able to let roll off me. I'm released from giving a crap about things that don't really matter. And I have SO much to be thankful for. Trite but true. I have an amazing life, and I can honestly say that I have no regrets at this point. If something were to happen to me (a pretty way of saying "if I die tomorrow"), I would have no last minute pang of "crap!! why the hell did i spend my days working at Job X?!?!" or whatever. And that's a pretty amazing feeling.

What a rambly post this is. Unrelated to all things art and wedding. Ha ha. Hey, I'm alive, and healthy, and happy, and I'm free to write whatever I like, and really, that is just so damn cool I could spit.

Happy Friday everyone. And don't forget to tell them you love them.

randomly

i have to say that i hate engagement pictures. i think they're stupid as all get-out. i just don't get the whole concept. what is the point? other than to spend more money? what could be a better example of a silly convention created by the wic, designed to do nothing but add to your budget?? maybe i'm just a freak, maybe it's because the whole idea seems over-the-top sugary sweet to me. and maybe i'm missing some vital piece of important information. i'm certainly not maligning those who have chosen (or will choose) to have engagment photos taken - to each his own and all that good stuff. i simply felt the need to express my deeply felt WTF moment. REALLY!!!!! i feel like a crazy person here!! ick. engagement pictures. blargh. barf.

not in the mood

i'm finding myself in a non-blogging kind of mood today... but then, sometimes the talky, random-thought blogs are the ones i most enjoy reading. so i thought i'd do one of those. hopefully you won't be bored to tears (all three of you!). if you don't enjoy talky rambly blog posts, then you may want to go look at something else. like this. or this. or this. all yummy.

ok, fair warning.

so, random thoughts.

1) Wren handmade. I found her wedding on Once Wed (sooooo pretty), and it made me want to look at her blog, and her blog made me want to be a crafter. to buy a sewing machine and have a craft room with cubbies full of fabric. if we end up moving, maybe i will. which leads me to....

2) moving. potentially? i haven't wanted to write about this, because i fear i will jinx it, but there is a good chance we will be moving into another apartment in our building very soon. as in like 2 weeks. the apartment in question is HUGE (relatively - i mean this is nyc, and we aren't millionaires), it has a basement, with a (gasp!!) washer and dryer (the equivalent to solid bars of gold in this town), a beautiful backyard (another nyc holy grail), and enough room for matt and i to have separate offices. the catch is that our rent would go up three or four hundred dollars. which we can handle, it's just a little scary when he's a freelancer and i'm a multiple-part-timer-cum-freelancer. things have been slow on the freelancing end lately, and we have a wedding to pay for in the next few months, so it's a little anxious-making. we'll likely know for sure this weekend.

3) speaking of things i am aiming to have done/decided by this weekend, we MUST have our venue figured out. so i can send invitations. gah.

4) i had (amazing) indian food for lunch today. and my hands still smell.

5) should i start another blog? just for wedding stuff? and really get into the nitty gritty? not just my random thoughts, but a more detailed blow-by-blow? because this is what i'm thinking: i'm thinking that i need some help staying sane in the face of the ridiculous pressure i feel sometimes to conform to the wic or diy "norms." i'm thinking that it might be helpful to have a dedicated blog for that purpose, with a mission statement and everything. i'm thinking it would be cathartic to vent wedding trials and tribulations to my hearts content without worrying that i was abandoning the other parts of myself (you know, the NON-WEDDING parts. sometimes it's hard to believe they exist, but they really really do) - like my art, my illustration.... you know, the reason i started this blog :) i'm thinking....

6) also, i would like a wallet that looks like this:

that's all for now, dear readers. i hope this wasn't too dull. please accept my apologies for the lack of anything resembling a point.

if you have gotten this far, you are either a saint or my mother (although i suppose that's a bit redundant:)).

it must be tuesday

because i am writing a million posts.

i can't believe i've never seen this before, but holy-moley-freaking-what-the-dang-sweet-baby-jesus, this is easily one of the best things ever. top five. not to be superlative, but i am awed by the technical prowess it displays, and the sheer prettiness of it, and the quote! the perfect wonderful quote! just went right into my heart :)



run, don't walk, over to MadeByJulene to see more...... i am just floored by julene's work!

case in point:



REALLY??????? unbelievable.

i found these via the wonderful nest. now go look.

blog awards!!

awwww.....

the very sweet and lovely anna, from anna and the ring, has given me her "one lovely blog" award!! who knew anyone was actually reading my ramblings?

i'll be posting some awards of my very own soon.....

thank you anna!!

rainy day in brooklyn town

*sigh* it's rainy and gloomy in nyc today (source).......


i stumbled on these today, and they cheered me up a bit:


aren't these invitations yummy?? i am so going to "borrow" the trifold and ribbon idea.... they're by Libby Smith, and i found them at once wed (who have an awesome new site design - check it out!).


also from once wed:



i don't know... it just made me happy.



tomorrow i'm going to the renegade craft fair in mccarren park with my dear friends patti and liz..... the poster alone is reason enough to get excited!!



it's sponsered in part by etsy, and there's gonna be a treats truck there, so you know it's going to be awesome :) they have them in LA, chicago, and san fran too, so check it out! i'll report back next week.....


stay dry and warm, new york!! happy weekend!!

disheartened

sometimes, it feels impossible....

prop 8 - rhymes with hate

Really?? Dude!! California!! I am SO disappointed in you. You're supposed to be a bastion of lefty politics! A sunny liberal paradise! A forward thinking, envelope-pushing pioneer! If you of all states can't get your heads into the 21st century, if you of all states insist on passing and upholding hateful, discriminatory laws, what hope does the rest of the country have?? Thank God for Iowa.....

I suppose it's a good thing that the couples who were married won't have their marriages nullified, but that hardly feels like a victory. I really cannot believe how hard headed and completely unreasonable people can be. This is a policy informed by ignorance and fear. One day we'll tell our grandchildren about this, and it will blow their minds that we lived in a time when only straight people were allowed to be married.

WE can do better than this.