Wednesday, September 23, 2009

How to be fair to your guests..... even if they ARE family :)

This post, from Sara at $2000 Wedding, about the benefits of NOT being the perfect host at your wedding got me thinking. I could see that as my real downfall - I tend to get anxious about keeping everyone happy when we have a party, and I can totally see myself worrying more about whether things are running according to schedule than actually experiencing the day. So today I am trying to let my inner control freak go, and figure out a way to delegate, delegate, delegate.

I've already foreseen this problem, to an extent. I pictured us, at the end of the ceremony, surrounded by loving friends and relatives, trying to hug us and congratulate us, and me being distracted by wondering if there's enough ice at the bar, or trying to figure out how to get people to move to the reception hall. So I asked two of my cousins (who are actually more like sisters) to be my "day-of coordinators." I trust them implicitly, we think the same way, and I know they won't resent me for asking! I've made sure that their duties will be as light as possible - in fact they probably won't have to do much at all, just the knowledge that they're there with their gettin-shit-done hats on will help me relax.

But at the end of the night... our venue is a Unitarian Church, and they need the decorations taken down before Sunday morning. They have their own cleaning crew and all, but we need to remove the bunting, pom-poms, garlands, string lights, centerpieces, balloons, and photobooth before we leave the place. Originally I was planning to divide the jobs up, and give them out to willing family. One thing per person, so it wouldn't be overwhelming. But then I started writing it out, and it felt like a lot to ask my uncles and aunts and cousins to take half an hour in the middle of festivities (the reception is from 5-10, and then the afterparty will immediately follow at the hotel) to pull down decorations. So I'm thinking about asking my little brother (who's a senior in high school) if he has any (responsible!) friends who want to make a few bucks by taking them all down for us. What do you think? I think it's genius :)

So that's what's on my mind today, 17 days before the wedding. The actual nuts and bolts of the day, how it will flow, who will do what, and how do I make sure I am fully present and centered, without putting too much of a burden on my loved ones.


  1. i think it's a fine idea to ask siblings' friends to help out for a little money. i've definitely considered that idea.